Should we as women help?

Recently I received an email from a friend, a male Buddhist teacher. He had been asked to counsel a fellow practitioner who had been told to leave his community for sexual abuse. This man, a teacher in his sangha, was a repeat offender.

In the letter my friend remarked that sexual harming was only partly about sex, it is also about male power and privilege. And he asked if this teacher were to be reinstated in his former community would he go back into the 'old boy' network as a man who has learned a great deal about himself and about other men with power and who could therefore be someone who could affect change or would he go back and not speak up?

I thought this a very good question. Then my friend went on to say that he felt that probably women in our Buddhist communities would lead us out of destructive patriarchy. Somehow reading this didn't sit well with me. My immediate reaction was why should women have to help men figure this out? I feel that when there is a problem in our society there is a tendency to cast someone out, to send up a warning that it is not o.k. to behave badly, this happens in Buddhist communities too.. Should we ask people to leave and in essence dump the problem on someone else or should we deal with them inside our sanghas? And isn't it time for men that are sexually abusive and use power over women to sit down and look deeply into themselves and find a way to behave differently?

Welcome to Deglazing the Doughnut

If you are reading this you have found your way here to 'deglazing the doughnut'.

Thank you for checking out the site.

Some of my Buddhist friends and I have been talking about Buddhism, an Eastern spiritual practice and in what ways it works here in the West and in what ways it doesn't work and how it could be more viable for Westerners.  We've talked about the many stories of teachers having inappropriate relationships with students, extramarital affairs and the abuse of power by Buddhist teachers. We've discussed Lay Ordination verses Priest Ordination.  

We came to realize that there are endless amounts of topics and we felt that 'deglazing the doughnut' might be a good place to come and express our interests, questions and concerns in hopes  that we could support one another, share our concerns and insights and possibly find answers to some of our questions as well as yours.  We look forward to reading about what is on your minds and in your hearts.

Gassho, Chikai